Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
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