New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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