that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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