don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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