I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
