Me. At least after what I've been through.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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