I like to think it a success when the cops are called
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
