i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
