she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
