There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
