those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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