I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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