I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Jerry, you need to find god
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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