Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
