I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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