ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
