Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
