we have officially lost it.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
