It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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