after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
