It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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