i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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