Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
