Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
