he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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