Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
