I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
