his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
