my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
