i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You ate ashes out of my bong
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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