Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
