You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
