Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
