proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
