Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Randomize
