My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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