Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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