a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
