I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
