I molested 6 butterflies tonight
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
