So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Randomize
