If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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