is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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