You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
