they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
