How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
