How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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