She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
