Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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