Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
