I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
