Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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